


13 Dogs Is Kind Of A Lot

by razboinicul_iernii



Series: I'm Not Your Friend, Pal [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark Not-Friendship, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Dogs, Pets, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, but he doesn't like dogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 19:39:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6920347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/razboinicul_iernii/pseuds/razboinicul_iernii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony thought he'd been more than generous. He was housing multiple fugitives at any given moment, for free, by the way, ranging from scientific accidents to powerful mutants to unregistered persons of technological origin to the unfortunate but latest addition, ex-brainwashed HYDRA assassins with bionic limbs. Yes, the merry little band of misfits was getting a little bigger every day, just like the laundry list of problems that presented to, well, everyone in the world basically. But he figured <i>here</i> was a better place for them to be, all under one roof, together, rather than <i>there</i> which could be prison, could be a mental institution, could be dead, could be a HYDRA vault. All less desirable places than a comfy cozy facility in upstate New York with a big backyard for the kids to run around in and plenty of toys to break.</p><p>That's why he didn't feel like an ass when he drew the line with the dogs. </p><p>Or: Bucky has collected thirteen stray dogs and something has to be done before everyone is drowning in poop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	13 Dogs Is Kind Of A Lot

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, I have never encountered an animal I don't like. But I just imagine Tony thinks animals are fine in concept but less fine in practice :))

Tony thought he'd been more than generous. He was housing multiple fugitives at any given moment, for free, by the way, ranging from scientific accidents to powerful mutants to unregistered persons of technological origin(he was particularly proud of that one because a whole international court had convened for days about what the hell Vision was and how to integrate him into humanity as a whole so that was great) to the unfortunate but latest addition, ex-brainwashed HYDRA assassins with bionic limbs. Yes, the merry little band of misfits was getting a little bigger every day, just like the laundry list of problems that presented to, well, everyone in the world basically. But he figured _here_ was a better place for them to be, all under one roof, together, rather than _there_ which could be prison, could be a mental institution, could be dead, could be a HYDRA vault. All less desirable places than a comfy cozy facility in upstate New York with a big backyard for the kids to run around in and plenty of toys to break.

That's why he didn't feel like an ass when he drew the line with the dogs.

"What the hell was that?" he'd said when he'd walked into the place for the first time in about a month or so. Stark Industries had Pepper but the facility here did not have Pepper so he wasn't always hanging around. Sometimes things changed after his absences. Like Bruce might have a new blend of relaxing tea in a canister in the kitchen, or Wanda might have collected some new bird feathers to hang in her room, or Nat may have found a nice potted plant to stick on an empty windowsill. Those were all perfectly acceptable new things to introduce into one's living space. Whatever the hell was howling like the world was ending was _not._

"From the sound of it, that must be Bayer," Vision said as if this were a regular occurrence here. He could tune pretty much anything out so he probably didn't care about the noise. "He frequently does this when the door is opened, though I haven't been able to ascertain why..."

Tony was ready with all manner of witticisms, but never got a chance to deliver them. Some huge monstrosity he almost thought was a baby horse came scrabbling noisily around the corner. Vision went all transparent and ghostly and a large dog bounded right through him without a second thought to tackle Tony back into the wall. "No! No no no this suit costs more than a billion of you," Tony said quickly, shoving off the mangy, nasty, slobbery individual but it wasn't deterred in the slightest. He could hear the cacophony of even _more_ sets of claws and paws struggling to keep their footing on the nice wood floors. Which were gouged to shit, he could see. Not one, not two, not three-Sparing the counting, _six_ more dogs came around the corner, varying in size, and all of them made it their mission to shove their wet little noses in his crotch.

"Peculiar little things," Vision murmured, not at all distressed by this.

"I leave for a _month_ and this place turns into a literal zoo, who the hell brought all these damn things-"

"Not a dog person, Stark?" Sam asked from the couch in the other room.

"Only when your mom's in town," Tony shot back as he made his way further inside.

Natasha gave a playful wince and a laugh because they all knew-except Vision, who was plainly confused-Sam wasn't recovering from that. Tony would've liked to dwell on the victory but was too busy dancing his way to the couch, out of reach of imploring nostrils. "They're James'," Nat said, flipping another page in her magazine.

From somewhere in the building, there was more barking. "Jesus, how many are there?" Tony asked, bewildered eyes searching all visible areas for fur and drool.

"Last count was thirteen," Sam said, his focus clearly on whatever video game he was playing. "I've told Steve we need to have a discussion 'cause this was ridiculous when we hit six."

"You know Steve can't tell his aluminum life partner no," Tony said. "He always gets those crocodile tears and _oh but HYDRA was mean to him for seventy years_." A dog shoved its face in his lap. He crossed his legs and pushed it away with a disgusted huff.

"Go easy on him, Tony. We know you don't form bonds with anything that isn't your own reflection, but James really cares about the dogs," Natasha said. Then she hummed, apparently satisfied with something in her magazine and he heard her murmur, "Cugino's put out coupons."

"Anchovies," Sam said, eyes never leaving the television.

"I told you. When you can pin me for at least five seconds, you get anchovies."

"'m never getting anchovies," he muttered back.

"Does no one care about the pack of wild animals in this house right now? How are you all okay with this? How did you let it get this far?" Tony waved his hands while he spoke and three of the present dogs-because two more had wandered in here at some point-watched intently, like they expected something.

Nat and Sam both just shrugged. He sighed noisily, figuring he could annoy them into a response and it worked. Natasha tilted her head to look back at him. "They're just dogs. Steve's been looking for shelters and once he has some lined up he's going to talk to James about it. It's a work in progress."

"What's there to _work_ on? You open the door and they chase a car to the next person dumb enough to feed them."

"You must be a cat person," Sam said.

"I know a Wakandan prince you should meet," Nat put in.

"I'm an 'if it makes me pick up its crap and vomit I don't want it' person." He stood up and tried to brush off the rainbow of dog hair on his pants, but it was fruitless. "Where's Barnes?"

"Let's see," Sam said. He pressed his lips together once at something happening in the game before continuing. "It's 7:45 pm, the wind is coming in from the northeast at three knots, and the moon is at three quarter phase sooo I'd say he's with Steve."

"There are no stupid questions Tony," Nat said playfully. She nodded towards the back and Tony went. Evening was almost setting in, the grass and trees going that blue-green inky shade. He spotted a firefly or two. Wanda had an empty jar at a table but she was already looking at Tony before he even came outside which definitely wasn't unsettling, like, at all.

" _Dobro veče._ "

"And aloha to you, too," he said back. He heard the crack of a baseball hitting a bat and a whistle came after, Steve's voice faint as he claimed they weren't getting that one back. Tony headed in that direction.

But Wanda's voice stopped him. "You should be nice, you know."

"I think I'm plenty nice."

"Nice isn't always measured in dollars, Mr. Stark," she said and he didn't have to be looking at her to hear the smirk in her voice.

"If it's measured in cryptic repartee, then you're a saint." He wanted to believe she'd overheard him complaining about the dogs. But he knew she was still adjusting to the idea of people's thoughts not being fair game. And someone like him, with all the bravado and eccentricities, he was about the last person that wanted to be around a telepath. He didn't have a lot of bad things to hide. But some things were harder to pretend when in the company of someone who could know any truth they wanted about you in real time as your brain thought it.

Another dog trotted by and renewed his sense of purpose. He'd never explicitly stated 'no pets allowed' so he guessed this one was on him. But he thought it went kind of unspoken. Maybe if everyone came together and agreed that one person got a cat, or someone else got a goldfish, it'd be okay. It was just, if he let everyone bring pets, then they were hip deep in dander and fur and kitty litter and kibble. So one person hoarding thirteen messy, sloppy, nasty, smelly dogs, it was a little unreasonable and he couldn't believe they'd let it happen.

Who was he kidding, of course he could. Nat saw herself in Barnes so he literally got away with murder. Sam didn't exactly _enjoy_ Barnes' company, but he wasn't about to be an ass in front of Steve about it. He was too good a guy for that. Vision had no concept of what was typical when it came to household pets so Tony couldn't fault him. And Wanda...Well he guessed she was the resident wild card, a mystery no one had figured out unless she was willing to let them. Funny how that worked, the one who could lay everyone bare got to keep all her secrets.

"Ahem," he coughed loudly as he approached the pair. Their backs had been facing Tony. Steve had the bat and Barnes was pointing off into the woods, probably where the ball had gone. Yet another dog was present, practically glued to Barnes' ankles. They both turned at the sound of his voice and he shrugged. "Couldn't see your hands."

"What?" Barnes asked, obviously not understanding the implication.

"Nothing," Steve said to him, the word riding out on a put-upon sigh. Then he let the bat rest on his shoulders and he looked to Tony. "Just got in?"

"Uh, yeah, and what greeted me but six noses to my dick?" Steve sputtered, Barnes smirked. "I mean I'd be okay with that given certain conditions but I can tell you those conditions never, _ever_ involve dogs."

"They never met you before," Barnes said like it was obvious. "That's what dogs do."

"Okay. Here's what I do: not live under the same roof as thirteen animals that poop and eat the poop and then lick you with the tongue that ate said poop."

"That's nice," Barnes said.

Steve looked like he got what Tony was getting at, so there was that. Tony knew that didn't necessarily mean they'd be a united front on the issue. When it came to Barnes, it seemed, they never were. But then it was like some angel came down from heaven, sucker-punched Captain Perfect in the jaw it'd personally sculpted by hand and left behind the divine wisdom Tony had already known all along and Steve said, "Thirteen dogs is kind of a lot."

"Nobody else wanted them," Barnes said.

"Well, you don't know that," Steve said. He shrugged. "Might be they just need help finding good homes."

"They found one," Barnes said.

"Yeah, no. The dogs go or you go. I win either way which is how I like my ultimatums," Tony said. Steve shot him a look so of course he had to reassure the pair. "I kid, I kid. But not about the dogs going part. That needs to happen."

"Why?" Barnes asked. He crossed his arms over his chest. The dog at his feet kept his legs between it and Tony the whole time. Was it _shaking?_ Jesus dogs were weird.

"Because you can't live with thirteen dogs. I can't believe I even have to say that. This is not your personal puppy palace. People _live_ here," Tony said, gesturing back to the nearest building.

"Where are they supposed to go?" Barnes demanded.

"I don't _care,_ " Tony said. Because he didn't.

"Maybe there's a good shelter in the area," Steve suggested and God was this what it was like? Having Captain America on _your side_ in an argument? It was beautiful. No one had prepared him for this.

"Shelters'll just kill them, how can you tell me to do that to them?" Barnes asked and Tony fought back the urge to say something very snarky but very cruel about ex-assassins who cared more about things that chased their own tails than human beings. He knew Barnes hadn't been the one making conscious decisions to kill people. He _knew_ that. It didn't make it any easier when he'd learned those mismatched hands had ended his mother's life.

"There's ones that won't kill them, even if nobody ever adopts them," Steve offered.

Barnes shook his head. "They don't always stay that way. Sometimes they won't take them, or they just ship them away to a place that will kill them so it doesn't look like they did it. It's not fair."

Tony briefly gritted his teeth. Had the guy fought that hard when HYDRA told him to kill someone? Had he tried to reason his way out of his murder assignments? He tried to keep his head clear. Tried to remember he'd worked with Natasha dozens of times, and he never got this attitude towards her. Never picked at Clint for what he'd done for Loki. Didn't hate Banner for what he did as the un-jolliest green giant. And Steve was on his side for once, so he may as well not ruin that. "Well then you need to figure out an alternative, because they aren't staying here," Tony said.

Barnes opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but then closed it again. "We will," Steve said and of course he did so sincerely. Tony waited a beat before walking away and letting them hash it out. It wasn't unfair of him to ask this. It _wasn't._ They arrested people for having this many dogs under one roof, didn't they? He didn't really know, but surely there was an upper limit somewhere, and double digits seemed like a reasonable one to him.

He managed to get through the night without stepping on any tails or noses or paws. He had a strict 'nothing with fur' policy in his bedroom and didn't plan on breaking it anytime soon, no matter how many of the little goblins stared at him with their big brown eyes or wagged their tails when they saw him. He gave Barnes until a little after noon to think over his options. Tony didn't like to argue on an empty stomach and God knew he'd need every ounce of energy he could get to make it through this.

Barnes was in his room and in a legitimately shocking twist, Steve was nowhere to be found. But that was okay because four of the thirteen dogs were there to keep Barnes company. Tony hadn't been in the room since he'd agreed to let the guy stay here. Spartan wasn't a strong enough adjective. He suspected if Barnes had been left to his own devices, the mattress would be on the floor in a corner with a single blanket and maybe a pillow if he was in a jaunty mood, clothes a pile in the opposite corner, and that would be that. Too bad for him all the rooms came furnished so he had to suffer with the nice bed and the closet with its hangers and the dresser with its drawers. "Well?" Tony said, not bothering with much preamble. He wanted this conversation over with because he hadn't come back here expecting to have it to begin with.

There was silence. Tony wouldn't wait too long, but he waited, shoulder pressed into the door frame as he blocked the only exit and he felt like a disappointed parent waiting on an explanation for some infraction. A stance he was so very familiar with but had, ironically enough, been taken from him by the man he was using it on now. The realization made him straighten up immediately.

Barnes kept a hand on the dog that was pressed against his thigh like it could dissolve into the man's bloodstream through his pants if it just tried a little harder. "They might die."

"Okay, but you of all people should know, death happens."

He pressed his lips together and shook his head. "Not the same. They'd die because I didn't do enough for them. It's different and it's not fair. Not to them."

Tony stared and wanted to shout and throw things at the guy because how could he be so repentant about the god damn dogs? Barnes had said his sorries to Tony and of course Tony had dismissed him because he couldn't handle a conversation like that, so it ate at him. And here they were. And maybe here they'd always be, til Tony got all wrinkly and grey and Barnes didn't because obviously a man with that many kills under his belt deserved some longevity. "Well that's unfortunate. Tell me where they're going and I can arrange a way to transport them for you."

He expected some kind of hatred or anger or rage or something along those lines. But Barnes just looked defeated and Tony thought he would relish in that but he didn't. He didn't get off on people's suffering. Even when those people made him suffer. So instead, Tony sighed through his nose and said, "What's its name?" He nodded to the one on the bed, the white one he'd seen glued to Barnes outside the night before.

" _Her_ name is Quiet," Barnes said. His fingers sank into her pretty white fur but she kept her wide eyes on Tony the whole time. "Think she was hurt by people because she's so scared of everybody."

"Doesn't look scared of you." Poor instincts, maybe.

"I had to work really hard for that," Barnes said.

Tony tilted his head and let his eyes wander around the room. Everyone else had personalized their living spaces. Hell, even Vision had learned the dreaded human habit of accumulating useless crap and was growing _herbs_ on his windowsill. Herbs. Besides his clothes and the mystery backpack, the dogs were the only thing Barnes had approaching the term 'personal items'. "What about that one?" he asked, nodding at the brown and white puffy one at the end of the bed.

"Chichi." Tony snorted. "That's the noise he makes with his feet when he's excited about something."

"And that one in the chair, who's that?" The dog was mottled all grey and white, curled up in the chair at the desk.

"Quirk. One of his eyes is always kind of half closed."

Tony nodded, eyes settling on the black dog that was sprawled out on its back on the floor, legs in the air, mouth open and tongue hanging out and just generally looking like an idiot. "Okay, and this refined gentleman here, who is that?"

Barnes hesitated. His eyes flicked to Tony then back down to the dog on the floor. "Um..."

"Here I thought they all had names."

"He does. It's-" Barnes stopped and cleared his throat. "It's-He's...Tony Bark."

Tony stared and he was processing too much at once to know how to react. "Tony _Bark._ As in..."

"Yeah," Barnes said in a quiet voice, nodding slowly.

There was a silence.

"God damn it, Barnes," Tony said finally, drawing a hand over his face. "I was so ready-Just, absolutely-Came in here, I'm gonna lay down the law, I'm a big man, and you pull out all the stops. God damn, Tony _Bark!"_ He disappeared into the hall, taking a few steps forward. He ran a hand through his hair before pivoting on his heel and turning back around to walk into Barnes' room again. "Tony Bark!"

The dog in question rolled quickly onto his stomach, still laying down but at attention. He grabbed the doughnut shaped squeak toy in front of him and squeaked it, rapid fire, delighted eyes on Stark. "That's..." Barnes said haltingly, apparently under the impression that Stark was livid because he spoke like he regretted having to do it. "...his bark reactor."

"God _damn_ it, Barnes," Stark said again and Tony Bark jumped up, hind quarters in the air in an obvious invitation to play. He squeaked the toy again."How am I supposed to-" He threw out a hand and Tony Bark's head snapped to the opposite side of the room and he bolted like Stark had just thrown something. The dog repeatedly shoved its face to the place where the floor met the baseboards, occasionally pawing at it like something was under there. "Oh my God, he's an idiot, isn't he? You named the dumbest dog after me, is that how this works?"

"I mean it's not like I gave them all a test, but..." Barnes said. He looked at his hands. "Yeah."

"Mr. Bark, please, you're tarnishing our good name. Come work on the bark reactor, immediately," Tony said, squatting to squeak the blue toy. Tony Bark raced back to it, snatching up the other half.

"I don't think you're stupid," Barnes said quickly. Tony kept his focus on the dog. "It just-That's how jokes work, you know. It's ironic. The dog's so dumb but you're the smartest person I know. And bark, dogs bark-"

"Yeah, I get it," Tony said. He inhaled deeply, trying to settle that jumbly, jittery feeling in him and he said, "I can't believe I managed to snipe the spot for smartest man from your boyfriend."

Barnes made a face. "Steve's not dumb or anything but-" Then he shook his head and raised his eyebrows. "Okay, sometimes he does dumb things."

"Sometimes," Tony said. "Like letting thirteen dogs live here."

"He's too soft. On me," Barnes said, voice gone quiet and serious. "I think sometimes you guys-" He shut himself up so suddenly Tony had to doublecheck he hadn't gone unconscious.

"We what?"

Barnes stared at him, almost like he couldn't believe Tony had to ask. "That you must hate me. You've all got good reasons for it. I told him I shouldn't be here but he insisted." None of it was said melodramatically, or even with a whiff of self-pity. It was stated like a fact, like it was the most obvious thing in the world that everyone should dislike Barnes. "But I don't get it. You especially."

Tony didn't say anything at first, afraid he might say, well, yes, I do hate you. Even though he wasn't sure if he did or not. "What do you mean, me especially?"

"I killed your parents. How could you not hate me?" Tony went tense at the words. How could he not? He'd pretty much never made peace with their deaths. They were so abruptly ripped from his life he'd never had the chance to say a lot of things he only realized he wanted to after they were already gone. And he knew that wasn't just some folly of youth thing. His complicated relationship with his dad left him a little...He didn't like the words 'emotionally stunted' but even his genius brain was scrambling to come up with something better. "But when I try to apologize, to do something, you just say _don't._ And you move on like it never happened. And you just let me stay here. You just accept me. It feels wrong."

"Because it is," Tony blurted because he was good at that. Usually what he was blurting was some kind of quip, not the stuff of tight lumps of anxiety and actual real feelings and all that crap. "I think about them every time I see you." Barnes was impossibly expressive, unable to hide anything he was feeling. He'd only just recently mastered emotions, after all, so figuring out how to hide them was a work in progress. Natasha said his openness was refreshing. Tony thought it was horrible. Right now he cringed, almost like he was in mild physical pain, and he dipped his head forward slightly like he could hide behind his hair. "And I know-Okay, I get you didn't have a choice."

"But they were your family," Barnes finished for him in a quiet way, like he knew he was risking some kind of outburst or reaction with that.

"Yeah. And look, my family, we were complicated, okay? So a lot of things I wanted-" He stopped himself and shook his head because how could he talk about all of that to their killer? It was hysterically absurd. "It just-God, do you get how screwed up all of our lives are? Do you understand that?"

Barnes shrugged slowly, like he thought Tony didn't want him to actually answer. Maybe he didn't.

"I _don't_ know about you," Tony admitted. He stood up and Tony Bark sat, head pointed up at him, expectant. "I have _no_ idea how to process your existence, alright? I don't know if I should hate you, if that's fair to you, or if it's unfair to _me_ because they were my _family._ And other times I just think, maybe that's all there is to it. That it isn't going to be fair to anyone no matter how you slice it because that's how life _is._ It just is. I'm too-too used to being able to make things work, to being able to control the outcome, or at least influence it in some way, to being able to lay it all out in graphs and charts and study it until I have the answer but I _can't._ Can't do any of that with this." He shifted his weight, and let his hand drop down to the dog's head while he looked around the room. He couldn't look at Barnes. He didn't know if that made him a coward or not. "You killed my mom and my dad and that's a fact." He said the words with a little more heat, a little more anger than he thought he would. "But you weren't even allowed to know your own _name_ and had your brain fried to oblivion every time you woke up and that's also a fact." He let his eyes settle on the dog, whose mouth hung open, tongue lolling out, and it looked like he was smiling. "And now we're here and we have to decide what to do with those facts."

The room was silent save for Tony Bark's panting. He risked a glance at Barnes. He sat, right hand still in Quiet's fur, left elbow propped on his knee. He was staring at his hand. "I think sometimes that I should go," Barnes said, lightly flexing the metal fingers.

Ten minutes ago Tony might've said, "Sounds like a plan." But now he didn't. "Right, yeah, and leave us with the world's weepiest patriot?" It got the smallest smirk out of Barnes so Tony felt the compulsion to keep going. "The number of flights he'd take back to DC just to pine at your mug in the museum is already giving my accountants headaches."

"I'm not who he thinks I am," Barnes said. For the first time since the conversation turned serious, he looked at Tony again. "You're the only one who sees me for what I am."

"And what's that?"

"A murderer."

He had nothing to say to that. Nothing to dispute. Technically, it was true, and technical was the way Tony knew how to be. But there were other technicalities to consider, like intent, consent, duress, all manner of lawyer words he wasn't even aware of. And then there were _further_ technicalities, ones he hated to acknowledge. Because if he permitted Barnes to call himself a murderer for being used by someone else to end lives, then that probably made Tony a murderer for letting other people use things he made to end lives. So he said, "Well, maybe I was too. But I'm not now. So what we are can change."

Tony Bark whined impatiently, and he shifted his weight from paw to paw. Like a kid stamping the ground before a temper tantrum. "He wants the bark reactor back," Barnes said quietly.

"Right, of course," Tony said, handing it back to the dog. The squeaking punctuated the otherwise tense silence, the playful sound completely incongruous with the heavy atmosphere in the room. And it hit Tony all at once why Barnes didn't want to risk handing the dogs over to a shelter that might kill them. Because then it was like _he_ was killing them. And killing things made him a murderer, a thing he was trying so very hard not to be anymore. "Look," Tony said with a sigh. "I can't let you keep all of them. It's unsustainable for our living space and you can't spend all your stipend on dog food, okay? And you're sharing this place with other people, you know, and they might not be as fond of all the animals as you are. But...you can keep one." He smacked his lips and rolled his eyes at himself. "Two. Two is the absolute max."

"Why?"

He almost said why. _Because it's clear you care about them. Because it's plain as day the possibility of being responsible for another death, even a dog's, makes you sick with guilt. Because you'll never forgive yourself for what you did under their control and I might not either because I'm only human and fragile and have messed up, complicated feelings buried under the armor but it doesn't mean I have to hate you too since you're doing enough of that for the both of us whether you should or not._ Instead he said, "Because I'm warming up to them." And he left Bucky to make his decision.

When Tony got back a few days later, nothing ran howling at the door to sniff him and lick him and slobber on him. There was much less, almost no, dog hair on the rugs and furniture. "It's so peaceful. Beautiful. The way it should be," he said to no one in particular as he walked further into the place. Steve and Wanda were in the kitchen, so they heard him.

"Hey, Tony," Steve said. Tony looked up at him and expected an earful about teaching his robot how to cry or something but Steve nodded. "It's done. Two of the dogs were picked up by families off of that um, that list thing?"

"Craigslist."

"Yeah. The rest we got to shelters and rescues. Someone was already asking about one of them before we even left, so that made him feel better, I think." Steve paused and the grateful look in his eyes was genuine. "Thanks. For letting him keep a couple. I know you don't like dogs so really. Thank you."

"Oh my God, Friday were you recording this?"

"As per usual, boss," she answered.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Really ruining the moment."

"I'm going to replay this every time I feel blue." He leaned against the counter, hands cradling his chin and he made googly eyes at Steve. "Thanks, sweetheart." Wanda laughed lightly. "So, who'd he keep? The big one that had its nose up its own ass every time I saw it, or the one that ate the floor?"

"He kept the white skittish one, Quiet," Steve said and Tony saw that coming from a mile away. "And uh," Steve continued, a grin spreading on his face. "The black one. He named it-"

"Tony Bark?" Tony said and he was _not_ genuinely touched.

"Yeah."

Tony tapped his fingers on the counter once and took a deep breath through his nose. Friday chimed in, "I was recording that one for you too, boss."

"Lovely," he said flatly. There was a sudden noise, something hitting a hard and unrelenting surface and Tony saw Steve and Wanda wince. He followed their line of sight to the glass door that led to the back yard. The dog in question was shaking its head and there was a fresh smear of wet on the glass.

"God that dog is stupid," Steve muttered under his breath.

"But very nice," Wanda said, extending her hand towards the animal in question as it clambered into the room. Her eyes flicked up to Tony and she smiled and he inclined his head at her. Bucky trailed in after, Quiet at his heels.

"I don't know if he'll ever figure out there's glass there," he said, voice apologetic.

Tony shrugged and reached to pat the dog on his head as he passed. "What's a little drool-stained glass between two not-murderers?"

Bucky smiled slightly. Steve gave Tony a puzzled look and then glanced at Bucky, but neither of them said anything further about it. Friends would've been too strong a word and maybe one that would never actually apply to them. But enemies didn't work either and he was woefully lacking in terms for the place in between those two ends of the spectrum. Tony didn't think a relationship could start out much lower than 'he killed my parents while under mind control', so they had a ways to go. It was like climbing out of the bottom of a pit. It'd happen slowly, maybe a lot of staggering along the way. And it'd take a lot of work. But, still. At least they were climbing.

**Author's Note:**

> I remember that I have a [tumblr](http://tchakaflocka.tumblr.com/). Feel free to come cry with me about Bucky's life. :))


End file.
